Q) What do you get when you pull the wings off a fly? A) A walk.
Q) Why are pubic hairs curly? A) If they were straight, they’d poke your eyes out.
Q) How do you circumcise a whale? A) With four skin divers.
Q) What is the difference between a circus and a chorus line? A) A circus is a cunning array of stunts and a chorus line is a stunning array of………..
Q) What is pink, loves sex and lives in a cave? A) Your tongue
A Proton walks into a bar and says: “I’ll have a beer”. The bartender says: “Are you sure?” The Proton says: “Why yes!, I’m positive!”
A Kodiak Bear walks into a bar and says: “I’ll have a Bloody………………………………………..Mary”. Bartender says: “Why the big pause“. The Kodiak holds up his hands and replies: “Hey man, I’m a bear!”
A goldfish walks into a bar. Bartender sez; “What’ll you have?” Goldfish sez; “Water!, quick, some water”
Did you know that Genitalia is not an Italian Airline?
What does a man do with 500 used prophylactic’s? He makes a tire out of them and calls it a ‘Goodyear’.
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!”
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of The night.”
She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”
John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.”
“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary.”
She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been in
there twice in the last four years. “Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep”.